As children grow and develop, it may be harder to express emotions and frustrations as easily as a mature adult. Instead of trying to force something verbally through a child, writing exercises are a great way to get information and read through feelings. Not only will it help you gain a better connection with your child, but the types of writing can also help with divorce proceedings. While working with a family law attorney, a variety of child-based writing activities can be used to open communication, determine custody, and help parents understand a different point of view during the divorce.
Daily Journal Entries
Children can express emotions by filling out a daily journal entry. Before giving them a journal to fill out, you should explain to the child that it is a journal for sharing. This means that the family and attorney can look over entries to talk through specific situations.
If a child has trouble starting on the page, then it's a good idea to offer different themes for each journal entry. For example, if the day is about a holiday, the theme can be about that holiday, how things will change, and what the child looks forward to in the future. If a child loved baking cookies every year, this fact may come out in the journal and allow the parents to keep that tradition up on either side of the family. The tones and descriptive nature of the journal can help parents get through mediation for tough decisions like the holiday visits.
Character Situations
For a child, it may be hard to explain their own perspective both verbally and written on paper. Instead of using themselves as a subject, the child can take one of their favorite fictional characters. Whether it's a cartoon character, super hero, or other character, have the child write a story about what it would be like if that character's parents got divorced. The child can branch out to imagine the changes, things that will stay the same, and other adventures along the way.
Relating to a fictional character is a great way for your child to deal with their emotions and see that they are not alone. Pairing this writing exercise with fictional stories about divorce can also help expand ideals for your child.
Pros & Cons
The opinion of your child is important for setting up visitation, schooling, and other aspects of a divorce settlement. Before making any final decisions with your lawyer, you should have your child write out a pros and cons list about the divorce. This list can include anything negative or positive about the divorce. For example, a child could write cons about losing family dinners or having separate vacations.
Some of the pros may include happier parents or multiple birthday parties. By splitting these items, you can see where you child's priority is and make plans accordingly.
Ranking Lists
A divorce often means that a child could lose a lot of everyday traditions they are used to. By using a ranking list, you can see what items or activities your child prioritizes. Using these lists, you can help split the items between you and your spouse. Examples of items to feature in the list includes the home that you live in, specific family meals, or other items like the favorite family car or restaurant. These items may be painful to you after the divorce, but they can help the child to have some familiarity during big changes.
Fictional Future
It's hard to predict what each day will bring after the divorce, but more than likely, your child has a future in mind. By having them write out the future, you can understand their expectations and work on communicating with them about the possibilities. Set the assignment as five years in the future. See what the child writes about or how they envision the family. One of the more important aspects to watch for in this writing exercise is unrealistic expectations.
For example, a child may write that the parents get back together in a few years, have a new wedding, and live happily ever after. If you know that your child has this vision, then you can help explain how permanent the divorce is. This will help them cope with false dreams and new adjustments like a child custody agreement.
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Share10 July 2015
My name is Noni. When I was in college, I was hit by a car while crossing the street. My life was never in danger, but I did break a few bones and had a lot of huge medical bills. I was hoping I wouldn't have to get involved with an attorney, but unfortunately, it came down to that. I used a family friend who is an accident attorney to get some compensation. A few years later, I was hit while riding my bike and had to go through the same process. I suppose I'm lucky to be alive. And it's thanks to accident attorneys that I have been able to put my life back together. I started this blog as a way to let others know just how much lawyers can help you in certain situations.